Am I really a narcissist?

A lot has happened since my last post 8 Jan. After 48 days, my slings were removed. Halleluja! With arms as stiff as boards and armpits itching like mad -no movement / no air- I delved into my physical therapy with great fervor. After 2 weeks I can raise my arms forward almost even with my shoulders, can touch my hands in back, and out from my sides about a 18 inches. May take a year to get above my head but the ligaments are loosening daily. Still can't put my bra, coat on. Can't put my hair in a pony tail, very limited by what I can lift, stand on a stepladder to retrieve dishes / cook, CAN shower by myself (need help washing my hair) and I have worn the same 2 pair of pull on pants / zip up sweaters for over 2 months. Life can be simple when necessary or when you choose. I did wear a pair of zip ups last Friday on our first big foray to Vancouver (29 Jan - accident was 29 Nov) and had to ask a gal in a public bathroom to help pull them up and tuck my shirt in. She thought I was nuts and though my story is well rehearsed by now it is always good for some instant sympathy. I don't think I've abused it because it has a certain shock value that people enjoy hearing. For some I know...schadenfruede for others...but that is a later post.

This blog was initially a time distraction (one of the few creative things I could do), a vehicle to share my emotions and an opportunity to update friends. Reactions to my blogging are interesting Some roll their eyes, others ignore, and some have directly accused me (and those who blog) of being narcissistic. It begs asking am I really self indulgent, vain, egocentric - all the nasty pejoratives of narcissim. We throw words around, myself included, without thinking of what is our true intention. We ignore, insult, react, withdraw in conversation several times daily, whether communicating directly or circuitously. All of us certainly have a right to our opinion, however don't we egotistically inflict ourselves on others as well on a regular basis whether blogging or not? We have all been the victims of people who initiate a conversation drawing you in by asking a question about yourself. You respond while you hear their thoughts screaming at you ... Hurry Up, I have to talk about me. Most of us politely listen, some are thinking only of what their next words will be and others silently tolerate the madness. Life is different now because I'm going to call those people out and I hope they do the same with me. I adore those folks who immediately invite you in and ask you all about YOU. Their humility guides me and reminds me how grateful I am they are in my life. Not that I relish the opening to spew forth my latest emotions and adventures, rather, I am reminded of the gift they offer. Sincerity, Humility and Love, and the ability to check my own self at the door.